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What's wrong with a little perk for getting old?
The bottom line is if you are over 50 DON'T ACT YOUR AGE!
Have you ever been taking the Flying Eaglets first grade girls’ soccer team to practice in your SUV with surround sound and have one of those embarrassing commercials for adult products come on the radio? You quickly change the station, but there’s no escaping it so you turn off the radio and try to interest the girls in a rousing chorus of Kumbaya.
ALL THE CUTE GIRLS ARE GRANDMOTHERS
A few years ago it became clear that plucking out gray hairs would leave me bald so I opted for the “distinguished gray haired male” myth. It’s what we old guys tell ourselves about having gray hair. There are similar myths for men whose hair is mostly on the shower floor, bald is beautiful and all of that.
The waitress also brought a glass of milk. Since milk was not ordered, I asked what it was for. She said some people like to put milk on their grits with sugar. The thought of this will make any true Southerner throw up.
On the way to church last Sunday Aunt Eula backed over one of her yard hens. It upset her so much that she asked the preacher to remember her chicken in his prayers. There’s surely nothing wrong with Aunt Eula bringing this poor chicken’s unfortunate circumstances to the Almighty’s attention, but remember that she fries up a chicken most every Sunday and thanks God mightily just before diving in.
Long hot days, gravel
roads, ponds, creeks, pastures, cows and the store were all necessary
ingredients for summers in Sessums. Small dairy farms lined the gravel roads
that led to the big, green store. Worn planks on the front porch let you know
the store had been there for a long time. The benches, where some played
checkers on pieces of cardboard with hand drawn squares, were smooth and shiney
from years of contact with overalls. The screen doors, which never seemed to
close properly, creaked as you opened them and served to announce each new
customer. No child in Sessums could ever imagine a day when the store, and the
man who gave them bubble gum, would be gone.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold. Well in the first place most Southerners own or at least have an uncle or cousin or neighbor who owns a pickup truck. But in all honesty there have been times in my life when it was easier to throw a few bales of hay in the car. The answer is six.
HI HONEY, I'M HOME
Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.If I didn’t complain he would never take me out to dinner. His idea of a big night out is the special at
Captain D’s.
