RULES FOR SPENDING THE NIGHT AT WAL-MART
Over the years members of my family have lived in small country homes and large city houses. We’ve lived in one room apartments and trailer homes of various descriptions. We’ve lived in the cold winters of Canada and the hot summers of the southwest. Of course most of us now happily live in the Deep South.
While on vacation we’ve stayed at ritzy hotels (rarely) and the infamous roach motels (unfortunately much more common) but until recently nobody in my family has ever spent the night at Wal-Mart. Yes, the wife and I spent our first night in an RV parked in the outermost parking spot of Wal-Mart.
RVing tip; never travel in a small RV with a person you haven’t seen naked and don’t mind seeing naked again.
We weren’t able to get one of those 40 foot behemoths you see cruising down the road towing a Jaguar. Not only are they much too expensive for us, but we couldn’t afford to drive the darn thing. Have you noticed the price of gasoline lately? The idea of an eighty gallon fill-up at three bucks a gallon makes cold chills run down my spine. I’ve sold more than one car for less money than that.
RVing tip; never stay at an RV park that charges ten dollars and is run by a man with more tattoos than teeth.
Now you can do everything in my little RV that you can do in a house, only on a much smaller scale. The RV shower is one of the most ingenious things. To give you some idea of the size, go outside near the garden hose and put your feet together. Bend over and draw a circle around you six inches from your feet. No part of your body can extend past this line. Now turn the garden hose on and hold it over your head. See, you are taking a shower. In my shower you can’t actually bend over, so you just use lots of soap on the top and hope it washes down toward your feet.
RVing tip; women who shop in the Portly Pals section of the clothing store should not attempt to shower in a 22 foot RV. The same holds true for men who haven’t seen their belt buckle since college.
As I write this from an RV Camp in Santa Rosa, New Mexico, I’ve just eaten a complete meal prepared in the RV’s lavish kitchen. Yes, a paper plate filled with crackers and Vienna Sausages all washed down with Dr. Pepper over ice made in the refrigerator. Our refrigerator runs on AC, DC or LP. That sounds great, but the one-ice-tray freezer is the only part that actually gets cold. The rest of the refrigerator is, at best, cool.
RVing tip; when spending the night at Wal-Mart be prepared to arise at the crack of dawn. Those Wal-Mart shoppers come early and seem to get perverse pleasure out of slamming truck doors.
Yes, people who spend one hundred and fifty thousand dollars or much more to by an RV will while away a night in a Wal-Mart parking lot to avoid paying twenty bucks at an RV camp, go figure.
But if you are going to spend the night in a Wal-Mart Parking lot here are the rules:
Ask first.
Shop at the Wal-Mart.
Park in designated area or as far from store as possible.
Be as unobtrusive as possible.
DO NOT put out chairs, tables or other camping items.
You are parking, not camping.
One night and move on.
WHITE SANDS NEW MEXICO
Florida Sunset
